Gerardo

About Me

Bear with me while I figure how to use this site - it seems to offer a little more flexibility than others.

My personality: regular rituals punctuated by spontaneity. An example - week upon week of green veggie smoothies for breakfast until a two day explosion of scones (1) for breakfast. Coffee, always, vitamins, mushroom tinctures, supplements for various brain functions (calming, focus, sleep), Tai-Chi & diary daily… then three days of bad sleep and working on a boat fueled by good coffee, decent canned soup (is there really such a thing?), fresh organic strawberries and not much else.

I am discovering things about the world: Differences in average height, and differences in color choice in different parts of the world I hadn’t expected.

I have no children, but no objection to them. I never had the chance to be a father, and I like the idea - my father was very good, and I think I would also be a very good father, or father-figure to children. If you are intent on more children, we have a problem - due to an accident a few years ago, I don't think I can father children any longer. The idea of reading a bed time story to my adopted children brings tears of happiness, & a heartache I can't explain.

About Lions, Tigers & Bears, oh my - I am very allergic to cats, so... they are a no-go zone for me. Dogs, no problem, love them, especially the very intelligent herding and retriever breeds. I love horses, especially the big working breeds. If you want to live in France, and have Poitevin donkeys on our land, please write to me!

I was a climber for many years, and became a fanatic cross-country skier and canoeist. I no longer live in a world of snow and lakes, so I have become a bit of a fanatic cyclist. I love going to the gym, and I love leaving it. I am dedicated to fitness, mostly because I just feel better when I am in pretty good condition. I recently bought a boat as part of a larger ambition to crew on a boat sailing to Greenland…

Books and such: I read, and now listen to books compulsively. I will read almost anything but comics and poetry, with the exceptions of Tin-tin comics: and for poetry, Gwendolyn Brooks, Gil Scott-Heron, Rumi, and Anna Ahkmatova. I tend to alternate between non-fiction, mostly my ongoing study of Russian & Soviet history, and mysteries. All that political history is depressing, and I have to alleviate the weight of it with something fun, like a silly crime novel. (perhaps we can translate "Dancing Aztecs" into your language as a way for me to learn your language?)

Music: wow! Now that is a rich vein of human expression. I have gone through periods of listening to classical, 60’s rock, delta blues, punk, reggae, Afro-beat, world beat, alt country, Nordic folk revival, circumpolar, Aboriginal, modern American folk (ever heard Michelle Shocked’s “Texas Campfire Tapes” or Disappear Fear?), and I am currently following the deep vein of Mexican/ Latin pop. I’d say about the only things I can’t stand are click-track computer generated R&B, and most rap. People playing instruments are what it’s all about! I have played in punk bands, metal bands, blues/jazz bands and currently play in a Norteño band… so if you play, or sing, especially if you are a drummer… write me!

A word about risks: I take them. To quote Marianne Faithfull “Danger is great joy, and luck is bright as fire”. I spent 17 years as a pretty consistent rock and ice climber…. did a lot of solo cross country and back
Country skiing in Maine, have raced road and still race cyclocross, have done crazy things like paddle my canoe across 6km of open sea in a northern winter…. I am trying to say Enjoy Me, I might die on you. I am NOT an adrenaline junkie, I am not all risk all the time, I am an effort junkie with a taste for risk. And if you are a risk taker yourself, well,,, I understand.

Personality - that's difficult to assess from inside. I know that I am stubborn, mostly very kind, caring, usually slow to anger, and when I get angry I tend to let it go pretty fast. I have also learned to say “I feel really angry/ hurt when you do -____”, and that reduces a lot of my hurt and anger. I am very loving in a hands-on way: I will literally care for you rather than just caring about you. This means foot rubs DAILY for you, a massage once a week, random neck rubs… I am also ridiculously affectionate, so you will get random hugs, kisses, nuzzles and sexual attention at random (hopefully socially appropriate) moments. One thing I will NOT do is hold back my affection in public to protect a culture - If we are traveling and I can’t hold your hand in public, I will want to leave that country as soon as possible. If we are ever in a country where the woman is expected to walk behind the man, I’m leaving. I want nothing to do with a culture that does not allow us to be equal partners. Perhaps that is a western bias, perhaps it’s a California thing, but if you are my woman, I want the world to know you are mine, and that I am proud of you.

Food- I tend to like spicy food, with hearty food as a second choice. Indian, Mexican, Thai, Hunan are my favorites. In cold weather, I swing towards heartier stews and soups. I love to cook, but do not make a pretty and presentable plate. I will always take second place to you in the kitchen, cutting, slicing, cleaning, as your sous chef and prep cook, if this is your wish. I LOVE to bake, but almost completely stopped eating sugar a couple years ago, and now only bake what I can that uses minimal amounts of sugar. I do eat sweets now and again, but not like before.

Shelter - I prefer small houses in rural areas, or an apartment in a dense city. Either surrounded by nature, or in a city where I can walk to what I need. American suburbia with the need for constant automobile use feels... immoral. And our infrastructure is not made for bicycles, except in a few cities. Small house or small apartment, big workshop is my happiness.

Clothing & style - I was once accused of never wearing anything but work clothes. Pretty much true. Given four decades in the construction field, I have never worn a tie to work, never needed a suit. *sigh* At one point, in my early 20's, I bought a beautiful black raw silk suit from the 1940's... and within a few years, I had outgrown it. I want another suit, just one, and a reason to wear it. Will you be my reason?

About My Match

Intelligent, witty, with a sense of her own power. At least maintain a steady level of fitness - it's really nice to go for a bicycle ride or a hike on the weekend, and have a partner who likes to make an effort on the hills. If there is a sport you are dedicated to that I can't do (aerial gymnastics, or power-lifting for example), I would love to share gym time, and I would show up at competitions to you encourage you. (Not sure how I'd do that with skydiving... rent a balloon so I can wave as you go past? Some sports just aren't for spectators). How would you feel about watching your man struggle around in the peloton of a muddy, icy cyclocross race?

Someone who does not hold a grudge. Someone who feels comfortable enough in my presence to tell me what is bothering her... no "walking on eggshells". I have had that relationship, and it is not good for either person.

While I applaud & respect formal education, some people just could not sit still in class when they were kids… I am less interested in formal education than intelligence & curiosity: can you and/ or, have you educated yourself? Do you have you have wit, a good command of your native language? Do you like puns? If so we are off to a good start.

Someone who has a little social grace would be nice.

No housewives. I cannot and will not be your only social contact. And I will not support a woman whose only desire is to stay home and cook and clean. Did that, and it did not end well. We both work, we both cook and clean, we both take of children if you have them.

I am alternately outgoing and withdrawn, social & asocial, so I would probably be best with a similar person. If you need to be constantly going to dinner parties and social events, you would find that I am not there half the time, and probably be disappointed. If you are a complete recluse, and cannot have anyone in your home but your husband, you would be disappointed. If a mix of occasional dinners out, once or twice a month dinner parties with friends, and regular dinners together at home sound good, we have something in common.

Body art - If you have tattoos already, they are a part of you, and I can accept them (and you) or not. New tattoos are harder to deal with for me. I am sorry, I don't know why. I think part of me agrees with a friend who asked "why would you put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari?". A woman's body is perfection as is, and so I don't see a need for permanent markings. But that is me, and it feels like a prejudice, and it doesn't feel good to feel this way, but I do. I Have seen some very beautiful tattoo art... it is unfortunately rare. I certainly love pierced ears and nose posts, and mascara and lipstick, and that becomes art too, so I do not understand my general reluctance to tattoos. And to all this, I ask that you accept all my many scars, many, and small and all over. The markings of a life of physical work and sport....

Affectionate! My god that would be nice, to have a woman who kisses and touches my and hugs me every day.