Comparing Russian and American Dating Styles

For men seeking international dating opportunities, it’s important to realize that some women are not accustomed to an American style of dating. In fact, much of what you’ve learned in your dating career probably won’t do you any good when it comes to Russian women. Russian women have been raised with different attitudes about men and may have different expectations. So familiarize yourself with Russian dating customs and traditions that are likely different from your own.

Dating in America

For Americans, dating is more casual. Americans typically meet someone and go on a few dates. After a few dates if nothing clicks, they usually move on. It’s common for Americans to date dozens of people in a period of 2-4 months, often never seeing the same person more than once or twice if personalities don’t mesh well.

On a typical date Americans go a movie or dinner. The biggest concern is usually what might occur on the next date, not whether the person is marriage material or not. Marriage is not uppermost in most Americans’ minds in the initial stages of dating; they are usually more laid back and prefer to let things evolve naturally and without pressure before making a commitment.

Dating in Russia

For hundreds of years, the goal of young Russian women has been to find a husband – and that has not changed to this day. For this reason, casual dating is a lot less common in Russia. Very often, you will see two young people on a date wearing a dress and a suit instead of jeans and t-shirts.

Russian women and men frequent bars, coffee shops and restaurants to find potential mates – the hope is to turn a casual encounter into a courtship. For men interested in dating a Russian woman online, you should know exactly what to do and what not to do when meeting and courting a Russian woman.

Dating Tips

Respect above all – Being respectful should be a given in any dating situation, but especially so with someone from another culture. Whether speaking online or meeting in person for the first time, be mindful and respectful of a Russian woman’s cultural identity and traditions so you can act in a way that makes her feel comfortable. A formal first contact is important – Americans in particular need to take note because they can be overly friendly even to people they don’t know, which is considered rude in Russia.

Don’t question her motives – Do not risk offending a woman early in the process by questioning her motives! Only women with questionable motives will not be offended and will assure you they are sincere in wanting to date you. The result is that the pretenders will stick around and you’ll end up insulting a genuine woman. Be very tactful in your efforts to find out if your date is really interested in you – you will be better served by taking time to get to know her, observing her behavior over time and watching out for red flags such as asking for money. Of course, be sure your own motives are sincere.

Research and learn – Don’t make the mistake of judging a Russian woman by Western standards. Learn about Russian culture beforehand and you’re sure to impress her. She will appreciate the extra effort you’ve taken to be sensitive to cultural norms. Russian women may have different values and there are nuances that can turn your message upside down – giving her an impression completely opposite of what you meant. So be sure to do research about Russian culture and courting etiquette.

Be a gentleman – Act gentlemanly at all times and beware of the stereotypical American pitfall of complacency. This may have worked in your past relationships at home, but Russian women expect men to be courteous and considerate at all times. That’s not to say you should try to be someone you’re not or that you can’t relax. Russian women appreciate romance and old-fashioned courting. Try to anticipate her needs and satisfy them. Small gestures like opening doors and pulling out her chair at a restaurant are noticed by Russian women.

Be honest – Be who you are and show what makes you special. You can’t act like someone you’re not for too long. It’s important that she like you for who you are, not who you think you should be.

Dress nicely – By all means, look nice when you meet her! Skip jeans and a t-shirt and wear a suit or jacket. First dates are very important to Russian women and both parties are expected to dress up. Don’t let her down – you want to make a good impression and this is a great way to start.

Small gifts and flowers – It would be nice to bring a small gift if you travel to visit your Russian date. Flowers are also a good choice and will earn you extra points. Red roses are the romance flower of choice – but be sure it’s an odd number, which is a Russian tradition in a romantic setting. A single long-stemmed rose is ideal.

When it comes to dating Russian women, a little knowledge goes a long way!