Jeff

About Me

Hello, I'm Jeff.
I'm 41 years old, from the USA, and am a follower of Jesus to the core. I am looking for a wife, not a girlfriend, and not a short-term romance.
Some things I will say below are usually private things, but I am hoping to get it all out in front so that one understands and accepts everything prior to communicating with me.
I was married for 12 years. I married not out of love, but because I felt it was my obligation as a man to marry and provide for the woman and child I helped create. I was never in love. Neither was she; I don't believe. I did grow to love her, and she did I, but it was a companionship type of feeling, not spousal love. We both feel the relationship wasn't there anymore, and so there are not any negative feelings between us.
My divorce process will soon be finalized, and I have a 12-year-old daughter who does not live with me. She is extremely important to me, and I will not budge on being there for her until she becomes an adult—that is my duty that God gave me as a father.
My family is of the utmost importance to me, and that includes extended family as well, as I would expect my family to be important to my wife too. I have a sick mother that I wish to support more, and so I understand this situation and expect understanding in return. My mother is the 2nd woman in the cooking photo of me holding wine glasses; this was before her sickness.
I will not deal with dishonesty in any form at any time. At night, when you close your eyes, you are accountable to God even if other people don't know you are lying (or anything else you've done)—He will, and that is why I do not lie, and I expect those around me not to either. Every night I take account directly to God for my actions and also for my inactions, so I try very hard to not have much to be forced to admit! It's okay to not give an answer or to say you don't want to talk about something, but if you lie to get out of the situation, I will be very unhappy with that and will lose trust in you.
In general, the wife is to obey the husband, and I do agree the husband has the final say if it comes to that point if mutual agreement is hard to come to, but what most men forget is God also says to honor his wife and also to love his wife as Christ loved His church. One command isn't more important than the other. There is a balance of equality in different ways that are required of both the husband and the wife, and I respect those values and expect my wife to also.
My goal is to move my wife (and her children if that is the situation) to the USA with me until my daughter turns 18, which is 6 years from now, and then at that time I would be open to possibly moving to the Philippines permanently. Or possibly having two homes, one in the USA and one in the Philippines, I haven't decided on that yet and would be open to discussion.
We would live in Pennsylvania, USA, for those 6 years, so I could be close to my daughter to see her as much as I can.
I own a business with 4 employees, and I do make more money than the average American and am very financially secure.
Important: I will not give one peso before marriage, so please do not ask.
A caveat, of course, would be once we are engaged, I would cover any costs relating to paperwork, travel, legal fees, and similar expenses as they relate to getting married.
I would prefer that my wife not work and only attend to the children, the household, and her husband. While I would never force anyone to do something they don't want to do, my desire is for a wife who dedicates her time to her family, and so I would ask that you not seek a relationship with me if you are uncomfortable with this.
I would like to be treated well; I want to be appreciated for what I give; I'd like my food cooked for me (I am not a good cook but would love to learn!), have my house cleaned, and get a massage when my shoulders hurt from work.
In return, I will provide a stable household with everything provided that a person could think of.
Also in return, I will be kind, patient, understanding, and loyal.
With marriage, you not only make a pledge to your spouse—you also make a promise to God. That is very serious, and it is not a game.
I do have a strange sense of humor, sarcastic at times. So, someone would have to get to know me because sometimes people don't know if I am joking or not, and it's okay to ask; I will tell you.
I do not mind if you have one or two kids. I would prefer the children to be 10 years old or older, but that's okay if not if I meet the perfect woman. The reason is I want to travel before I am too old to travel, and it is very hard to vacation in Italy for four weeks, as an example, with children in school and sports activities.
I play the piano (am rusty), go for walks, go hiking, invent computer software, fix computers, watch movies, read books, and camp for fun.
Although I have grown my business this winter and worked many hours behind a computer sitting, with the snow here in my town that's been extremely heavy this year, I've not been able to get out to activities much. This is also why my pictures show I have a little weight on me, but that will change again soon.
Unlike most men, I understand exactly who I am, and I am not prideful. I'm not saying I am as humble as I'm instructed to be, no, but I do try very hard to live without pride. This also helps when disagreeing, as I am open to being wrong and will admit if I am without shame. I would rather be wrong and learn and not hurt someone than be prideful in my error for self-aggrandizement.
I am very open; I talk about my feelings, and I listen to my wife's feelings. I am still very much a man, but I am not simple enough to believe that feelings don't exist, and they should be ignored. I do not like unresolved differences. I like things to be talked about until there is mutual understanding and mutual acceptance of all sides so there is not unresolved conflict clouding the household.
I understand I just said I am not prideful above, so what I am about to say might sound hypocritical, but the truth can be stated in a non-prideful manner. I am very intelligent and logical; it is hard for me to see "grey.". What that means is that to me, everything is a "yes" or a "no, "black" or "white," a "one" or a "zero," and that is difficult when it comes to communication with me. If something is illogical, I will not accept it until it makes sense, and I logically understand it. I always like to "teach" as well, so sometimes those around me might think on occasion that I am being haughty or supercilious when I am not; I actually just enjoy sharing and receiving knowledge. It is actually that simple.
You must be sweet, kind, and giving and have a sense of humor. If you are prideful, argumentative, have a negative demeanor, are demanding, or are high-maintenance, please do not communicate with me.
I know this next part will be very forward, but since this is what I am looking for, I will say it. I am not afraid to be direct and open; I just want to apologize in advance if the following is offensive to those that are sensitive: Physical relations between a man and a woman are very important to me. Not just for the obvious reasons that men are men, but more importantly because I am 100% loyal and also because it is more than just carnal to me, personally. It is a gift from God between two people; I will not go anywhere else to get my needs fulfilled. Because of this, I do expect my wife to fulfill my needs in this area. And also, I will fulfill her needs (or at least try as hard as a man can until I cannot breathe anymore! haha haha), and it will never be just about me or just about her—it will be equal. Sometimes, as is natural, it will be more about me, and sometimes it will be more about her—and both are okay as well. Sometimes I will ask for something you might not like (maybe, we don't know each other yet haha), and sometimes you will ask for something I might not like (maybe, again, we don't know each other yet haha). Both of those things are okay too. Honestly, this extends to all parts of the relationship. I might ask you to hang out with me while I am building a computer, and you might ask me to hang out with you while you work in the garden. I am not particularly a gardener, but I will if my wife really wants my company, and I would expect the same in return.
If you've gotten through all of the above, and you haven't thrown your phone into the trash yet (there's still time! just kidding), then here are my plans so you know what to expect:
I will be flying to Cebu sometime between March and May of 2025. I will rent a condominium in downtown Cebu and stay for a few months. I will be going on many dates, but dates in public only. Well, unless I happen to find the perfect person over the internet, I honestly have no idea how realistic that is. It could be, I suppose. And in that case, I would be coming just for you. If not, I will plan on dating until a match is made. Then I will fly home, arrange a fiancé visa, and fly my new family to me. Now, God laughs when we tell Him our plans, but that is how I have it worked out in my mind.
If you're what I'm looking for, then I hope to speak to you, or possibly see you, soon!
-Jeff

About My Match

Hello, I'm Jeff.
I'm 41 years old, from the USA, and am a follower of Jesus to the core. I am looking for a wife, not a girlfriend, and not a short-term romance.
Some things I will say below are usually private things, but I am hoping to get it all out in front so that one understands and accepts everything prior to communicating with me.
I was married for 12 years. I married not out of love, but because I felt it was my obligation as a man to marry and provide for the woman and child I helped create. I was never in love. Neither was she; I don't believe. I did grow to love her, and she did I, but it was a companionship type of feeling, not spousal love. We both feel the relationship wasn't there anymore, and so there are not any negative feelings between us.
My divorce process will soon be finalized, and I have a 12-year-old daughter who does not live with me. She is extremely important to me, and I will not budge on being there for her until she becomes an adult—that is my duty that God gave me as a father.
My family is of the utmost importance to me, and that includes extended family as well, as I would expect my family to be important to my wife too. I have a sick mother that I wish to support more, and so I understand this situation and expect understanding in return. My mother is the 2nd woman in the cooking photo of me holding wine glasses; this was before her sickness.
I will not deal with dishonesty in any form at any time. At night, when you close your eyes, you are accountable to God even if other people don't know you are lying (or anything else you've done)—He will, and that is why I do not lie, and I expect those around me not to either. Every night I take account directly to God for my actions and also for my inactions, so I try very hard to not have much to be forced to admit! It's okay to not give an answer or to say you don't want to talk about something, but if you lie to get out of the situation, I will be very unhappy with that and will lose trust in you.
In general, the wife is to obey the husband, and I do agree the husband has the final say if it comes to that point if mutual agreement is hard to come to, but what most men forget is God also says to honor his wife and also to love his wife as Christ loved His church. One command isn't more important than the other. There is a balance of equality in different ways that are required of both the husband and the wife, and I respect those values and expect my wife to also.
My goal is to move my wife (and her children if that is the situation) to the USA with me until my daughter turns 18, which is 6 years from now, and then at that time I would be open to possibly moving to the Philippines permanently. Or possibly having two homes, one in the USA and one in the Philippines, I haven't decided on that yet and would be open to discussion.
We would live in Pennsylvania, USA, for those 6 years, so I could be close to my daughter to see her as much as I can.
I own a business with 4 employees, and I do make more money than the average American and am very financially secure.
Important: I will not give one peso before marriage, so please do not ask.
A caveat, of course, would be once we are engaged, I would cover any costs relating to paperwork, travel, legal fees, and similar expenses as they relate to getting married.
I would prefer that my wife not work and only attend to the children, the household, and her husband. While I would never force anyone to do something they don't want to do, my desire is for a wife who dedicates her time to her family, and so I would ask that you not seek a relationship with me if you are uncomfortable with this.
I would like to be treated well; I want to be appreciated for what I give; I'd like my food cooked for me (I am not a good cook but would love to learn!), have my house cleaned, and get a massage when my shoulders hurt from work.
In return, I will provide a stable household with everything provided that a person could think of.
Also in return, I will be kind, patient, understanding, and loyal.
With marriage, you not only make a pledge to your spouse—you also make a promise to God. That is very serious, and it is not a game.
I do have a strange sense of humor, sarcastic at times. So, someone would have to get to know me because sometimes people don't know if I am joking or not, and it's okay to ask; I will tell you.
I do not mind if you have one or two kids. I would prefer the children to be 10 years old or older, but that's okay if not if I meet the perfect woman. The reason is I want to travel before I am too old to travel, and it is very hard to vacation in Italy for four weeks, as an example, with children in school and sports activities.
I play the piano (am rusty), go for walks, go hiking, invent computer software, fix computers, watch movies, read books, and camp for fun.
Although I have grown my business this winter and worked many hours behind a computer sitting, with the snow here in my town that's been extremely heavy this year, I've not been able to get out to activities much. This is also why my pictures show I have a little weight on me, but that will change again soon.
Unlike most men, I understand exactly who I am, and I am not prideful. I'm not saying I am as humble as I'm instructed to be, no, but I do try very hard to live without pride. This also helps when disagreeing, as I am open to being wrong and will admit if I am without shame. I would rather be wrong and learn and not hurt someone than be prideful in my error for self-aggrandizement.
I am very open; I talk about my feelings, and I listen to my wife's feelings. I am still very much a man, but I am not simple enough to believe that feelings don't exist, and they should be ignored. I do not like unresolved differences. I like things to be talked about until there is mutual understanding and mutual acceptance of all sides so there is not unresolved conflict clouding the household.
I understand I just said I am not prideful above, so what I am about to say might sound hypocritical, but the truth can be stated in a non-prideful manner. I am very intelligent and logical; it is hard for me to see "grey.". What that means is that to me, everything is a "yes" or a "no, "black" or "white," a "one" or a "zero," and that is difficult when it comes to communication with me. If something is illogical, I will not accept it until it makes sense, and I logically understand it. I always like to "teach" as well, so sometimes those around me might think on occasion that I am being haughty or supercilious when I am not; I actually just enjoy sharing and receiving knowledge. It is actually that simple.
You must be sweet, kind, and giving and have a sense of humor. If you are prideful, argumentative, have a negative demeanor, are demanding, or are high-maintenance, please do not communicate with me.
I know this next part will be very forward, but since this is what I am looking for, I will say it. I am not afraid to be direct and open; I just want to apologize in advance if the following is offensive to those that are sensitive: Physical relations between a man and a woman are very important to me. Not just for the obvious reasons that men are men, but more importantly because I am 100% loyal and also because it is more than just carnal to me, personally. It is a gift from God between two people; I will not go anywhere else to get my needs fulfilled. Because of this, I do expect my wife to fulfill my needs in this area. And also, I will fulfill her needs (or at least try as hard as a man can until I cannot breathe anymore! haha haha), and it will never be just about me or just about her—it will be equal. Sometimes, as is natural, it will be more about me, and sometimes it will be more about her—and both are okay as well. Sometimes I will ask for something you might not like (maybe, we don't know each other yet haha), and sometimes you will ask for something I might not like (maybe, again, we don't know each other yet haha). Both of those things are okay too. Honestly, this extends to all parts of the relationship. I might ask you to hang out with me while I am building a computer, and you might ask me to hang out with you while you work in the garden. I am not particularly a gardener, but I will if my wife really wants my company, and I would expect the same in return.
If you've gotten through all of the above, and you haven't thrown your phone into the trash yet (there's still time! just kidding), then here are my plans so you know what to expect:
I will be flying to Cebu sometime between March and May of 2025. I will rent a condominium in downtown Cebu and stay for a few months. I will be going on many dates, but dates in public only. Well, unless I happen to find the perfect person over the internet, I honestly have no idea how realistic that is. It could be, I suppose. And in that case, I would be coming just for you. If not, I will plan on dating until a match is made. Then I will fly home, arrange a fiancé visa, and fly my new family to me. Now, God laughs when we tell Him our plans, but that is how I have it worked out in my mind.
If you're what I'm looking for, then I hope to speak to you, or possibly see you, soon!
-Jeff